As a child I had always asked my mom why I was the only child they had. She used to say, “Ashley, it’s because you were a present to us. We almost never had you.” As a newlywed, to a wonderful man named Mike, I was afraid that this might happen to us too. He would reassure me by saying that his parents had four kids and that was only because his parents were smart enough to stop having kids.

So sure enough when we decided to join his family on our very first family reunion, I was surprised how many cousins he had. His siblings brought their children and it was almost like the ranch exploded into a kaleidoscope of people of all ages.

Naturally everyone was asking when we wanted to add to the Brady bunch. I was too overwhelmed to even answer. Mike had to say, “Maybe later tonight” and they all laughed.

Staying at the family’s estate seems like the worst kind of vacation for a city girl like me. But the colors and the smells made me feel like this was probably made them live so boisterously. Everything was fresh and a delight to the senses. I wanted this place to be where we could conceive.

The family trip lasted for a three days. Everyone worked together to make the meals and take care of each others needs. There were belated birthday gifts and Christmas presents that they had wanted to give in person. I thought it was a very quaint family tradition. It made me love Mike’s family more and more.

Before we drove back everyone said “See you later” and not goodbyes, after all we would all be back here next year.

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I never thought that preparing for a covert birthday for my husband would be that hard. Hi, I am Ashley and I am a frantic wife.

I had to get everyone to agree not to greet him on his birthday. The only ones allowed was his mom. She couldn’t imagine not greeting her baby on his birthday.

Then there was the venue. There was this bar that his friend owns that I had wanted to rent. But as his birthday gift to Mike, he gave me the night free with an open bar. He had also conveniently told Mike that he had to close that night because his bar was being repainted.

I told Mike that we were having dinner with some of his family and friends later. He sighed and told me that he thought people had forgotten. I had mentioned his favorite restaurant and he looked relieved.

We passed by the bar and our cab conveniently broke down. That was his friend’s cue to come out of the bar. He had said that we could call another cab while waiting inside. The contractors turned out to be a day late, he said.

Once we were inside there was an eruption of greetings and cheers. Mike was very happy to see his friends and family members all gathered in his favorite watering hole. They gave him his gift and urged them to open it. They had asked him what was the best one and he said while holding me by the waist, “This one right here.”

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I am not a hard person to buy a gift for. But for the duration of our years together my husband Mike had been totally clueless as to what to buy me for my birthday or Christmas. I always had to steer him to the right direction. Isn’t that just frustrating? But in my case, it covers all matters of sins that I make sure that I would get exactly what I want.

This year thought, Mike had not asked me what I wanted for Christmas. He didn’t even bother to tease me that he would buy me a hideous dress that he would make me wear on the New Year party of their firm. Honestly, the lack of interest dampened my holiday spirit.

But I have been eyeing the Mac Pro for the longest time. I loved my old Mac but I felt like I needed to upgrade to the latest model. I couldn’t possibly live with myself if he got me a scarf for Christmas.

While I was putting the decorations on our tree, he was very quiet. I thought he was going to finally ask me what I wanted for Christmas. But he was just smiling and placing ornaments like he was trying to wait for me to burst. I couldn’t help it so I sat down and moped. Then he asked me what was wrong.

I told him flatly that I didn’t want a scarf for Christmas. He said he knew that and that if I cared to wait he would give me what I wanted.

On Christmas morning, he gave me a scarf to use as a blindfold. In our study was my new Mac Pro.

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I am sure that almost everyone can attest to how different I am with my husband. For one thing, my friends call me Ashley the Grinch. It was because I had a penchant for moping around when the holidays came in. I was not a big fan of shopping during the rush so I shopped at all year round for the people I wanted to give anything to. I would buy them and then store them in my closet.

But ever since Mike came into my life, the holidays had to take a different hue. He was in love with the holidays. He embraced it with all the flair his inner child could attest. I really couldn’t blame him since he did have a home where they decorated a tree and gave each other presents on Christmas morning.

He wanted our home to be as warm as his was in his youth. So during our first holiday together, I was subjected to a number of traditional Yuletide traditions that I would have otherwise detested.

The hardest part for me was the tree. Oddly enough having Mike tell me stories about how he used to make ornaments for their tree when he was little made decorating less of a chore. Then he put up an angel that he made himself. I was almost sure that in the years to come that angel would always be there.

New Year’s Eve was a blast as well. For one thing, I had started the year with the man I would spend all my years with.

This actually made me feel sad that it was the end of the holidays. Oh well…there is always next year.

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Not having my own child to tell stories to on Christmas doesn’t lower the level of stress I have to go through whenever I have to decide what to buy for my family and my friends’ children. I was blessed with a husband whose love for travelling was so obvious that booking a trip for a vacation was the best choice.

But having to wander through the bookstores and toy stores with hordes of families pouring from all directions is my version of hell. It was like I was slowly being drowned in shrieks. I had contemplated online shopping for everything but had decided that it was easier to see for myself than having to ask people to return things on such a busy holiday.

So year after year, I put myself through the sweaty and grueling torture of buying toys that would be broken in a few months and clothes that they would outgrow by next year. And always I wonder why we have to bother. I wish I could just send them a Christmas card and be done with it. Why does love have to come in a box during this season? I could only imagine if the song came true that everyday should be like Christmas. I would probably faint.

But whenever I see the look on my nieces and nephew’s faces I remember that Christmas was not exactly for little old me. It was for those millions of innocent children who look forward to the rewards of a year of being a nice kid.

That almost makes shopping bearable.

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Whenever my husband Mike asks me the question, “If you were able to bring just two things from the present into the past, what would it be and why?” I would have my iPod and my Mac in mind. He would answer, “Ashley, you probably would be mistaken for a spy if you did.”

I don’t care. The two gadgets I couldn’t possibly do without are my iPod and my Mac laptop. I have very little else in the world to care to learn but what is the latest music and what my friends and family are doing on the other side of the world.

You see I have well travelled friends and my parents only had one child. I think I will repeat that trend since Mike and I have been married for three years and we still haven’t given them any grandchildren. My family and my friends love to send me pictures of the places they have been in the hope of enticing me to come with. But the problem is that I am afraid of flying. It takes Mike’s rockhard patience to fly with me over water. So being online on my laptop makes me experience their adventure right here on dry solid land.

As for my iPod, it has been my constant companion when there are slow hours at the McDonald’s branch that I work in as a manager. But it also soothes my tired mind when Mike drives me back home.

So wherever you might take me, under the pain of having to ride a plane, the comfort that I have them in my person is all that I have.

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